- Everyone’s spouse is a soulmate and everyone’s children and grandchildren are violinists with hearts of gold. Deal with it.
- People who die become guardian angels.
- Just because you want to reach out to old boyfriends, doesn’t mean they want to reach back to you.
- There should be a law against blocking pictures. They are half the fun of Facebook stalking.
- All babies look alike and there’s a limited number of things you can say about them.
- That perfect little black dress advertised on Facebook?..isn’t. I learned the hard way.
- Don’t expect Facebook to provide sunshine on a cloudy day. It can read like the obituary page in your local newspaper.
- People take more interesting vacations than you do, bring all the right clothes, and take better photos to boot.
- Politics makes friends post provocative quotes and references. Avoid reading and/or responding if you want to stay Facebook friends (or any other kind).
- You can kill a lot of time in the doctor’s waiting room by reading about the lives of friends of your friends of your friends. In other words: perfect strangers.
- Ignore demanding posts that say you must share the contents with x number of people or suffer some dire consequences.
- Even though you know Facebook prompted your friends to wish you a Happy Birthday, it’s still gratifying to get those posts on your natal day.
- Save your spiel about your children, husband, lover, etc. for your private time together. Do we Facebookers need to know that your boyfriend is the “love of your life.” Your wife is “the most amazing woman on the planet.” Your teenager has “made you a better person because he is in the world.” That your daughter is”the realization of all your dreams.” It’s embarrassing. Or maybe I’m just jealous.
- Posts, like life, tend to be ephemeral. Your news, no matter how great or sad, moves down your news feed, bobbing up with a comment or two and then, down into the void.