Rah Rah

I  just received an e-vite to my 45th high school reunion. Is it possible that I could be this old?  Wasn’t it just a blink ago that I was soaking up the sun on the grassy area next to the cafeteria at RHS  while the Mamas and the Papas sang “Do you want to dance” in the background? So the question is: do I want to go to the reunion? I’ve managed to avoid all of the previous ones. I did arrange an informal reunion with women classmates in the city about twelve years ago, but that was different. Every ten or fifteen years when the reunion comes up, I consider going. Should I or shouldn’t I? I picture how it will be. I select my outfit. I figure out who I’d go with and how I’d get there. I see myself walking shakily into the room that night and confronting my girlish past. Sort of like the eighth grade dances of yore.  Should I approach a group of people who look vaguely familiar?  Will the cliques reassemble as if 45 years haven’t passed? Will anyone be interested in how my life has unfolded? Will there be bragging about pied de terres, trips to Paris, annoyingly successful children, and prize winning grandchildren who hum Mozart?  Am I afraid of confronting aged, wizened high school crushes who have little hair? What will I talk to these people about? Death?  Why in the world would anyone go to a 45th high school reunion unless she is both masochistic and sadistic.  I’ve kept in touch with the old friends who meant something to me. Do I really need to take a halting trip down memory lane?

But it might be fun. It might be life affirming to hear what valuable and interesting things former classmates have accomplished in the world. They may be eager to see me and hear my story.  We may look at each other, stripped to the essentials by the ravages of time and experience, and recognize our eternal ties. I may be able to reframe some bad old experiences and see them in a new and healing way.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained.